I can do this?

~ my dream ~


I can't do this.
Those were the words I kept telling myself, as I prepared myself to walk onto the stage.
I was being beat up. Mentally beat up.
A voice inside my head that kept telling me "You are never going to be able to do this, your going to fail."
I fiddled with my hands, and took a deep breath.
"You can do this, I believe in you." I heard a voice behind me whisper.
I tried to slow down my thoughts and rearrange them, to get my facts straight.
Whats the worst that could happen? I mess up, people stare at me, then I run to my room and become a hermit. Not that bad. Right?
"Are you almost ready?" The stage manager asked.
"Sure." I replied, almost whispering.
Don't mess up, don't mess up. Everybody is watching, if you mess up it will-
I decided to stop talking to myself, it could only make things worse.
"Please help me." I silently prayed, as I heard my name being called.
I slowly dragged myself up onto the platform, preparing myself to pass out.
I grabbed the mic and stared at all the eyes that were boring into my soul.
Closing my eyes, words started flowing out of my mouth.
My eyes opened.
I looked around and realized that I could do it. I can do it!
A sudden burst of confidence shot through me.
The crowd started clapping.
I walked off stage, feeling something I couldn't explain. I could do it.

      My biggest fear - People and Failing. Okay people, failing, and pain. People and failing work together though. Like getting up in front of people and doing some thing that you could mess up in. School, Music, Sports, and My life in general. It all consists of having a chance to fail in front of people. Basically I struggle with nerves. Honestly people never really bring me down. Its me. I bring my self down. I get so nervous, that I cause myself to mess up. I cause myself to miss an opportunity that I could have grasped. Its all because of me. That means that only I can push back all those voices and say. 'I can do it.' 

                                                       push back the voices // only believe