t h r o w b a c k - o k a y

This is a tribute to all those photos that I have wanted to post but never have. A majority of these are from my summer vacation. Like the photo above where we fed ground squirrels at a rest stop in Idaho.

White rock BC, Canada is absolutely beautiful. We went paddle boarding in the ocean which was amazing. There were seals swimming around when we were paddle boarding. Which was pretty awesome in itself, but when you have a deep fear of falling into the ocean and being devoured by the little carnivores, its not too exciting when its actually happening.

Yellowstone National Park.

It was beautiful. Even though half of the forest was burned down, it was still breathtaking. We saw about a thousand - give or take a few - buffalo. It wasn't Yellowstone National Park itself that made our trip amazing though, we traveled from Tennessee to British Columbia Canada. It took a week, but it was an amazing week. That is where all these photos came from. One week of road tripping.

 

I am definitely not posting these photos in order. Oops. I guess I like to live on the dangerous side of life. We went to St. Louis, and visited the Gateway arch. I rode this little tiny claustrophobic inducing capsule, that took me straight to the top. The sun was setting when I was up there, so I was incredibly happy.

I guess I just want to reminisce about happy times of last year. Photos of incredibly good times, that make me smile. Just because of the laughter I remember.

You should let go of the past, but you should only let go of the darkness and negativity. Because in the future, when you are experiencing difficult times, you can look back and remember how you did have dark times but they always ended up okay. And you will be okay. And pain doesn't last forever. And things may not be perfect, but they are okay. And okay can be amazing.

xxx

kayla elizabeth

n i g h t m a r e s

I often find myself haunted by dreams. 
To which I remember things are not what they seem. 
The real world and fairy tales are so often confused. 
It's hard to tell which one you most use. 

My nightmares are crouched in the shadows in crowds. 
I'm sitting alone trying to block them all out. 
Laughing and haunting as they watch me sleep. 
Stirring in the restlessness that only dreams bring. 

My nightmares grow stronger each and every day. 
To which I don't notice till the light fades away.
Creeping beside me, slowly and swift.
Altering my thoughts and making me drift.

My nightmares each night, fill me with fear.
Their the words that I speak and the things that I hear.
Their every bad deed that's ever been done.
Their every time that I've failed and every demon that's won.

And every smile just digs me deeper.
But as much as I try, I'm still a restless sleeper.

♥
Maybe its just me, but when I was little I had nightmares. The worst kind. The ones where when you wake up, your not fully out of your nightmare. You can remember the smells, the fear, and the shadows from reality become your nightmare. I really hated going to sleep, because I was so afraid of dreaming. Every good dream turned into a nightmare. Thankfully I got over it, I no longer fear sleep or have even slightly as many scares as I used to. Though there are times when I do have nightmares, sometimes its the same one I have had since I was very little. The same beginning over and over, and your trying to make a better ending.
I am probably just over thinking things, but dreams are amazing to me. Even the nightmares. Because some are so real, that years later you can't remember if it was a dream or if it was reality. 
♥
I finally figured out a posting schedule and I am so happy! Maybe now I will actually blog properly.
Posting schedule
Monday
Wednesday 
Saturday
done
At the moment I am not going to be posting certain things on certain days. I want to be organized, but lets be real.  I am divergent. I can not be defined.
Thank you guys for all the feedback on my survey! I really loved all of your answers. ♥

Haven't taken my survey?

do not click this

xxx

Kayla Elizabeth

i b r e a t h e

i don't even like tea, but i have not downloaded my photos yet, and i like taking photos of tea

I'm back

'ello

You may or may not have noticed that I have been gone. Yeah, I have basically neglected this blog for a whole year. I posted a little bit here and there, but nothing serious.

I have so been wanting to post, but every time I go to write a post, I never actually post it. I was always worried about whether it was good enough or not.

I realized though that I have to enjoy blogging. I have to blog for myself, at the same time I am blogging for you. It has to be a outlet for me, not something I feel pressured to do. I want to blog for you guys, because I enjoy blogging.

I have really wanted to come back, I just have problems with writing posts after being gone for so long. #sorrynotsorry

Anyways, I made a little survey, that I would love if you filled it out.

It would give ideas of what content you guys like best, so that I have a good idea of what to post.

{ Its at the bottom of this post. }

blog change

My blog is a little bit different than before.

I changed the name from Laugh an' Love to i breathe.

Now the name might not be super special or super significant, but it means something to me.

I often worry myself into a never ending roller coaster. My whole entire mind and body goes on overdrive, even if I know there is nothing to worry about. I am working to overcome my anxiety, and the first step is to make sure I breathe.

Sometimes you just have to take it one breath at a time, when you are sinking you have to breath, even if you take in water. Because its either you pushing through the waves, or you drowning in the sea of your own thoughts and anxiety.

I named this blog i breathe, because its a reminder to me. A reminder that I do breathe, and that I need to keep on breathing.

Also, I got it redesigned by the lovely Rose. She did an amazing job!

latley

On a totally different note.

I have recently started watching anime. Anime films, anime shows, I even read a manga. { Which was so much better than the anime. }

My absolute favorite so far is Miyazaki films. Oh my word that man is a genius. I cried in Castle in  the Sky, which isn't surprising, because I cry in everything. It was just so good. My favorite out of every anime movie I have seen, would have to be Howls Moving Castle. I honestly do not understand how my life was okay with out it. I love the artwork, and the characters are amazing. Especially howl. You should definitely watch it, if you have not already seen it. I am slightly obsessed with it, as I have already seen it about five times.

I guess I will fade off into the shadows now. I just wanted to tell you guys that I am back. For good. No hopefullys or maybes, I am back for sure.

I will have a posting schedule for the next post, I might not follow it exactly but it would give me some organization. Seen as how I am so organized, haha not.

Fill out my survey?

do not click this

I have got reverse Psychology down.

♥

xxx

kayla elizabeth

can i check your pockets?

am i squinting enough?

act natural.

leaf throwing determination.

best friends for infinity and beyond

∞∞∞∞∞

your just a girl

with an incredible personality

your just a girl

who laughs constantly

and maybe that seems insignificant

but its not

because every 3 a.m conversation means the world to me

every awesome awkward social outing opens my eyes to see

that you don't need to worry about pleasing the world

you don't need to be amazing to society

because we are extraordinary in the most awkward quirky way

and who cares if people don't understand

because we do

and i feel so incredibly blessed to be able to say that your my best friend
you are the most amazing best friend

∞∞∞∞∞
I'm alive? Hahahahayeshahahaha.
I am now going to present to you a cheesy pick-up line.
♥
Can I check your pockets?
'Cause I think you stole my heart.
♥

xxx

stay awkward

fall favorites

Fall favorites

 

Big over sized sweaters. 

Floppy sleeves are the best, you can sweetly slap people with your sleeves of terror.

Combat boots.

I love combat boots and floral boots. Its a slight obsession.

Pumpkin spice Hot cocoa.

You thought I was going to say coffee, didn't you? I absolutely despise coffee. I was feeling left out when I would go to Starbucks and order water in a coffee cup. *shh its a secret, people think i am drinking coffee* I found out though, that you can ask for Hot cocoa with pumpkin spice in it. Its so amazing.

Pumpkin pie.

Sometimes I add some pumpkin pie to my whipped cream. Just sometimes.

Christmas music.

Michael Bublé and Piano guys. All day everyday

Beanies.

I have an undying love for warm cozy beanies. I basically always wear a beanie, so I can feel the coziness of it as it caresses my head in utmost perfectency.

Pumpkin carving.

I adore carving pumpkins.

Pumpkin candles.

I always have one burning. I think I have stocked up on too many, there is basically a candle on every flat surface in my room.

Bonfires.

As if there is something more Autunmy than that.

Leaves.

Raking them, jumping in them, going out of your way to crunch them, catching them as they fall, pressing them, and watching them glide down towards the ground. Is there anything better?

Chilly weather.

Excuse me? Did you just say you hate the cold? Give me a minute while I flop out my sweater sleeves, straighten my winter hat, put on my boots, blow out my candle, take a sip of hot cocoa, place my book gently on my fuzzy blanket, grab my sonic screw driver and go all Jackie Chan on you.

Thanksgiving.

A holiday that celebrates giving thanks while I'm stuffing my face with rolls? Yes please.

Long walks.

Because walking without dying of heat, is just my cup of tea.

***

I guess that's it.

Autumn is perfect.

For now, enjoy this Pusheen gif.

The cutest epitome of my idea of fall.

Whats your favorite thing about fall?

Also, here is my favorite corny joke at the moment. { Pun totally intended. }

What did the tree say to autumn? 

leaf me alone. 

xxx

kayla