woah there, did I scare you? | I'm back

Hello.

I had this long come back post written out, but I cringed too hard at myself so here we are. Basically I go through these weird phases, or extreme highs and lows. Right now I am in between happy and sad which is pretty much why I am writing this right now. 

College is starting tomorrow, and I just recently got my first job. Of course that is absolutely great and all, but I'm not very good at the whole 'keeping calm' thing so my anxiety has kicked in a lil bit. Which is why I am back. In some way I think blogging could be healthy for me, and I am trying really hard to do the whole 'self love' thing. Right now I need a constant, because I feel as if so much has changed recently and I honestly can't keep up. I need this.

I don't know how long I'll be back for, to be honest I don't even know if any of you guys still exist. But I'll be here. At least for the next few weeks or so.

The thought of blogging once again excites me, and I have a few ideas for future posts. Which is honestly shocking because I have a terrible history of actually posting. So ya know, stay tuned my dudes.

if you want to let me know that you still exist, please comment "hi" or like your ultimate bomb.com pun. you honestly have no idea how much it would mean to me.

woah slow down there bro

I haven't returned from the dead or anything, in fact I'm not really expecting anyone to read this, but hey what can I say?

I am turning sixteen this April, woot woot, which is a big deal for me because I get super duper excited about birthdays. Getting older still freaks me out though, in a good/bad way. Ya know? Such as being able to drive and all that jazz. What freaks me out the most is that fact that I made the choice to get extra credits and graduate high school in five months. Which last year the thought of it was totally exciting and I was 100% ready for my life to jolt into action, but as it gets closer, I feel more and more unprepared. 

College deadlines are staring me in the face and I have no idea what I'm doing. 

My fantasy is that college is going to treat me better than high school ever did, and that it's going to transform me out of the anxious, socially awkward person that I am. But simultaneously I have these fears that I will fall and continue to fall until I have no idea how to pick myself back up.

Of course it will probably be fine, after all, its just college. Except that I am actually five, and I still whine and complain, and I still can't keep my room clean, and I somehow lose my glasses everyday even after wearing them for eight years. 

I feel like things are changing too quickly, but in a way I'm still not actually going fast enough?

asdFGHJKL oh whale.

Dude, I just realized I always start blogging again in January, literally every year. Wow. Psh, well who am I to question fate? Ha.

I really really wanna know who is still on here? I haven't gotten on anything blogging related in practically a lifetime. I suck so bad with social media stuff, its not even funny. My friends are always complaining because I only talk to them in person and I never text. Communication is not in my dictionary.

What was the most exciting thing that has happened to you this year? I don't even care if its a new coffee you got from Starbucks, or this super rad sweater that completes your life. Literally anything good that has happened to you in 2017. 

peace out girl scouts